Football's Instant Replay

Football's instant replay is anything but instant.

Seems like you can read all 1,990 pages of President Obama's new Health Care Reform Bill...twice...faster than it takes a ref to acknowledge a challenging coach's red flag, run over to the sidelines, stick his head under the little black curtain, then re-watch (what appears like a hundred times) the very same play that he and his officiating crew just witnessed live on the playing field only a few minutes before.

OK, while all of us at home, after raiding the refrigerator, hitting the head and following our fantasy picks on the internet, sit stewing on the sofa, the zebra clad man slowly and seriously studies replays from every conceivable angle - even appearing to access footage from the Hubble Space Telescope.

His decision should be easy . . . and considerably much quicker, but it's NOT, because the actions of the main man in stripes always seems slower than a slug's.

So, exactly what is the ref doing under that black curtain?

Checking emails?

Watching ESPN Sports Center?

Tweezing unwanted nasal hairs?

Calling Domino's for a post-game delivery?

Or, reading an unabridged edition of War and Peace?

OK, my impatience is now maxed out after watching a weekend's worth of ridiculously long NCAA and NFL replays.

Football brass needs to act fast, or should I say, instantly, to bring the instant back into instant replay . .. before more impatient football fans like me, God forbid, start watching soccer instead.

Straight Talk. No Static.

MIKE - Thee American Made Voice on Sports