Adjusting The Fellas

In addition to steroids, the public display of adjusting the fellas must be banished from baseball.

And yes, baseball fans, you know exactly what fellas I'm talking about. These fellas are the twins. That's right, they're the two little round guys who hang out with Richard. They should be snugly housed under the front flap of a player's baseball pants in that medievally designed athletic supporter of almost underwear minus fabric for the butt. And they should stay there.

So how aggravating for fans in attendance, and especially for those watching in the stunning visual clarity of HDTV from the comfort of our living room couch, to witness these cherished twins endlessly being adjusted - whether in the batter's box, at second base, on the pitcher's mound, in the outfield or while walking out of the dugout in everybody's plain sight.

I realize how egregious baseball's steroid scandal has been, but it can't be much worse than this continued, right-out-in-the-open rearrangement of the unmentionables.

The quick pinch, the gentle scratch, the polite poke, the painless pull, and especially the double fisted groin grab for those really needy players have absolutely gotta go.

That's why I say. . .

Banish the Adjusting of the Fellas from baseball today!

Straight talk. No static.

This is MIKE - thee American made voice on sports!