Lou Holtz

I love Lou Holtz!

For cryin' out loud (as this charasmatic old coaching codger likes to say), Lou Holtz's candid college football coverage carries clout! Viewers are immediately smitten by the outspoken purity of this grandfatherly pigskin pundit and television's atypical talking head.

Who cares if this retired coach sports a face for radio rather than network television? This colorful commentator is welcome in my living room any day of the week.

This former Notre Dame, South Carolina and Minnesota Head Football Coach may mispronunciate, inarticulate and mis-syllabicate whenever he opens his mouth, but who the heck cares? The immensely loveable Lou eminates total trust, prognosticates with passion and purpose, and generates unbridled enthusiasm out of the ESPN Sports Center Studio.

Football fans look quickly past his saucer shaped spectacles, learn to live with his lisp, and humor him for his histrionics and hairbrained hunches. . . .all because they, too, absolutely love Lou Holtz!

Straight talk. No static.

MIKE - thee American made voice on sports!

MIKE Reporting On...The Jock Strap

Hey, sports fans!

This is MIKE - thee American made voice on sports!

Check out the attached one minute video (guaranteed to make you laugh) that I recorded with my buddy, Boomer in Studio M - my very own virtual ESPN Sports Center type studio.

As the sports world's premier uber-humorist, I report on a seemingly non-sensical mix of sports topics. In this video we pose the question, "Why's a jock strap called an athletic supporter?"

Expect to see plenty more of these MIKE Reporting On...videos of me on top sports web sites as well as on Jumbotrons in arenas and stadiums across the country.

Yup, I report on "really important sports stuff" like The Jock Strap, Dippin Dots, Quitting Spitting in Baseball, The Sports Bra, The Worst Job in Sports, Why is Curling an Olympic Sport, The Worst Mascot in Sports, The Ivy at Wrigley, Ain't Over "til the Fat Lady Sings, Kaka', Pa-role Models, Change is Needed (on our President' Jump Shot) and lots more!

Email me and let me know what you think of our MIKE Minute monologues.

Straight talk. No static.

This is MIKE!

Fanatic Favre Faithful

ESPN reported today that its Monday Night Football telecast earlier this week captured the Network’s best ever audience for a pre-season NFL game.

Whoa! Hard to fathom that so many fanatic Favre faithful still follow this oft retired, frequently un-retired grizzled QB recently signed by the Minnesota Vikings.

Just when we all thought this double-minded Mississippi Gunslinger officially hung up his cleats after last season’s NY Jets debacle, we find good ol’ #4 (in desperate need of some Grecian Formula for Men) back in our living rooms struttin’ his stuff and crack-backing an opposing team’s receiver during prime time coverage!

Once a faithful Favre fan myself, I’ll be watching very closely how the 39 year old Favre fairs against the much younger fellas from the defensive side of the ball. Plus, how Favre’s new teammate loyalty evolves in the Vikings locker room greatly intrigues me. A team schism surrounding a Vikings’ QB controversy has already surfaced.

However, all that who should be our QB non-sense will immediately evaporate when the vaunted Brett justifies his cool $12M salary by tossing touchdowns and leading the Vikes to victory after victory.

Viking Management signed Favre to a lucrative deal because they think #4’s still got what it takes to win in the NFL. Barring injury, Brett will win, schisms will be quickly forgotten and fanatic Favre faithful will become….. even more fervent!

Straight talk. No static.
This is MIKE – thee American made voice on sports!

Who Am I?

MIKE here.

Originally created as Michael Anthony Raffone, I now just go by MIKE.

No last name. Just MIKE.

Like Lebron, Tiger and Shaq, I don’t need a last name.

Sports fans everywhere know me, and chicks love my bowtie!

Why am I so famous? And why does the Media refer to me as Thee Long Awaited Microphone Messiah…poised to save America from its own self-induced sports coma?

Because NOBODY knows more about sports than me….and NOBODY reports on sports in the ridiculously honest way I do!

You see, I was built to be THEE man with THEE big voice on sports!

Fans love me because I always report on what I know, what I see and what I think in my straight talk, no static style! Plus, I'll make you laugh too!

So, sports fans. . . LOOK for me, LISTEN for me and LOVE me for who I AM…

THEE American Made Voice on Sports!

MIKE