FIFA Awards 2022 World Cup to Qatar (Satire)

(Satire) On December 2, 2010, FIFA officially announced Qatar as host country of the 2022 World Cup.

FIFA's surprising selection of this little known, oft-mispronounced Persian Gulf Emirate is cited as a "courageous step into new territory." Yea, kinda like intentionally marching right off the nearest cliff!

Despite Qatar's location in a politically unstable region with no football (soccer) playing history and scorching desert heat that could melt an Adidas soccer ball, FIFA President Seth Blatter boldly proclaimed, "The World Cup will now go to new lands!"

The President's confident comment prompted immediate worldwide reaction from incredulous soccer enthusiasts - many sarcastically suggesting that FIFA could also have chosen Mars - whose lunar landscape, extreme weather conditions and non-existent population base closely mirror that of the newly appointed 2022 host nation.

Nevertheless, FIFA's daring decision to challenge conventional thinking by voting Qatar as the 2022 World Cup host immediately galvanized other audacious moves in the sports world; namely:

In Lausanne, Switzerland - International Olympic Committee President Jacques Bogge quickly named Honolulu, Hawaii over Annecy, France; Munich, Germany; and Pyeongchang, South Korea as host city of the 2018 Winter Olympic games. Bogge noted that Waikiki's beautiful weather couldn't be any warmer than what skiiers, bob sledders and skaters experienced at the 2010 Winter Games held in Vancouver, BC.

In New York City - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell awarded Dhaka, Bangladesh as site of Super Bowl 53. Defending this newest venue, Goodell noted that despite knowing nothing about this uniquely American sport, this Third World country holds manufacturing rights to most of the NFL licensed apparel and certainly deserves a run as host city to the event.

In Charlotte, North Carolina - NASCAR officials announced a new Interstate 95 Race as part of its Spring Cup series. NASCAR President Mike Helton boasted that the Interstate's well established infrastructure up and down the eastern seaboard would allow increased visibility for the sport while showcasing the excellence of NASCAR drivers as they deftly navigate rush hour traffic on both the NJ Turnpike and Washington, DC's famed Beltway.

Finally, back in the celebrating city of Doha, Qatar, fashion designers unveiled (no pun intended) a dazzling black burqa as official female apparel for World Cup 2022. Now, not only the women of Qatar but every female fan expecting to attend the event can don this chic new cover-up while they brave the Arab Emirate's blazing sun and daily temperatures of 118 degrees.

Straight Talk. No Static.

MIKE - Thee American Made Voice on Sports

www.facebook.com/theemikefans

Michael is NO Vick-tim!

With a new NFL season scheduled to kick-off today, my timing is perfect to post this blog.

So, say what you want about Michael Vick.

Continue your debate.

Present your premise that Michael paid the time for his crime. Defend your dissertation that Michael has yet to pay a societal penalty.

Stand with the SPCA and protest games in which the new Eagle plays. Support the NAACP that Michael deserves a second chance.

Agree passionately with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's decision to reinstate Vick. Disagree vehemently with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's decision to reinstate Vick.

However, in spite of all the difference of opinions, we should all agree that Michael is NO Vick-tim and has never claimed to be a Vick-tim in the adversity that he created.

#7 has publicly pleaded for forgiveness, openly displayed remorse and genuinely accepted responsibility for his deplorable decisions.

Lefty never upbraided his upbringing, never pinned his predicament on his posse and never cited some outrageous excuse like Gremlins in his Gatorade for his thuggish behavior.

The beleaguereed Vick stepped up BIG when most other celebrity felons quickly shrink and shrivel from the spotlight.

I personally will root for this electric QB to succeed in what will evolve as a microscopically watched second chance.....because Michael's certainly NO Vick-tim!

Straight talk. No static.

This is MIKE - thee American made voice on sports!